Sick to death of stupid job applications

After several months of filling out applications, I must say that this one was the most exhaustive and time-consuming one. I now read that you’d like to test my blood and urine and subject me to random searches. Sure, why not? After you’ve got employees willing to pee in a jar, you know they’re going to do pretty much anything else you want them to do, right? Why not come over to my house and check my liquor cabinet? All this for a PRODUCTION POSITION? Wouldn’t it be a bit more pertinent to view my PORTFOLIO OF WORK rather than call up my old work pals and my sister to quiz them about me? What do you do, make nuclear bombs or something requiring insane clearance levels? Seriously — I’m about delirious by this time from filling out applications and sending resumes for jobs I never hear anything about again. Applications like this one make freelancing seem like a pretty reasonable way to go. Have a terrific day! Can’t wait to hear from you! (cut to applicant still waiting, covered in cobwebs a hundred years later).

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