October.

Stressing out about money. Monday looks very tight again this month. The money I receive has steadily dwindled. It’s challenging to make ends meet. I’m not replacing things as they run out. I made a list — things like flea medication for the cats and firewood. Soup in the pantry. A full tank of gas. I’m fortunate just to cover the basics, which include the mortgage payment, the AT&T bill which is the three cell phones, internet connection and television service… food, gasoline, cat food, cat litter, salt for the water filter… The basic stuff. So far I have not been able to get any kind of job. I let my health insurance lapse. I was fortunate in that both of the CDs I had at Fidelity were called ahead of time and I had access to that money, which helped. Now I’m down to cashing in my life insurance and possibly selling the truck. Still no job, no work of any kind. The credit card balance has crept up and up and making that payment is even more than the $225 AT&T bill. The life insurance money would help pay off part of that bill.

Tonight’s a night when I wouldn’t mind a $2 bottle of Two-Buck Chuck from Trader Joe’s.

Cassidy brought home yet another fundraiser for choir, a $12 frozen sweet roll. I counted change out of the change jar and came up with $12.

Things are just as tight as they’ve ever been, except these days I have a mortgage and two kids to take care of.

Don’t look down.

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